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Narcissism, police departments, and the good cop/bad cop pairing

A decade ago or so, my narcissist parents proudly told me and my sister that they were like a good cop/bad cop duo . My father was the bad cop, aggressive, hostile, and ready to blatantly terrorize you; and my mother was the good cop, so calm and superficially kind in comparison to her partner that you don't realize she's just as nasty deep down and feel inclined to trust her (although they framed it in a more flattering way than that). Treating your children like interrogation subjects is certainly an interesting parenting method... But at least growing up in those conditions gave me a perfect understanding of narcissism and abusive behavior within police departments.  I remember disliking and distrusting my father starting when I was in preschool. And when I was 9 or 10, I fantasized about him tripping on a rock and dying. (I was always a girlboss deep down.) His level of blatant coldheartedness made it clear that there was no reason for me to like or respect him, but it also...
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@ todos que todavía apoyan a mis padres

The English version of this article Dado que he recibido mucho más apoyo de extraños de Internet que conocí a través de Twitter, Facebook, e Instagram que de cualquier persona relacionada conmigo desde que comencé a hablar públicamente sobre ser sobreviviente de abuso infantil hace un mes, decidí escribir una serie de publicaciones para mi blog dirigidas a todos los que todavía apoyan a mis padres. Traducí este articulo al español para que los mexicanos puedan leerlo también. Entonces, primero... Mi padre es un tipo de narcisista agresivo, exigente, y hostil que yo describiría como la versión india de Donald Trump. Las discusiones con él son como los debates presidenciales de 2016 entre Trump y Hillary Clinton, que son dolorosos de ver si entiendes el inglés. Trump se conoce como el presidente peor de la historia entera de los EEUU, una pesadilla por todos, pero vivir bajo la presidencia de Trump durante cuatro años no es nada en comparación con vivir con él. Mientras tanto, mi madre...
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@ everyone who's still simping for my parents, part 1

La versión en español de este articulo Since I've received far more support from internet strangers I met through Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram than I have from anyone related to me ever since I started talking publicly about being a child abuse survivor a month ago, I decided to write a series of posts for my blog directed at everyone who's still on my parents' side. Part 2 will discuss the similarities between my experiences and those of Amber Heard, who has also been unfairly painted as some kind of unhinged liar who wasn't actually abused. She's currently being accused of being the aggressor rather than the victim in her abusive relationship with Johnny Depp, who has done a great job of DARVOing everyone into believing Amber Heard is the most Bad Evil Woman ever and even getting the #MenToo hashtag going on Twitter. So, first of all... My father is an aggressive, demanding, and hostile type of narcissist who I would describe as the Indian version of Donald Tr...
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Mi TEPT complejo, apego desorganizado, y TLP

The English version of this article Mis padres emocionalmente y financieramente abusivos , Karen Sandman y Sandeep Mulgund, son narcisistas que me dieron trastorno de estrés postraumático complejo , todos los rasgos del trastorno límite e histriónico de la personalidad, y un estilo de apego desorganizado . Esto es una version editada del articulo que ya publiqué en Substack el 16 de abril de 2022. Parte 1: estilos de apego La primera manera de que mis padres me jodieron cuando era una bebé literal fue por darme un estilo de apego desorganizado. Según Mentes Abiertos Psicología , los niños criados por padres comprensivos y emocionalmente sensibles desarrollan un vínculo estable y de confianza con ellos y terminan con un estilo de apego seguro, lo que significa que están psicológicamente bien adaptados y se sienten cómodos confiando en los demás. Por otro lado, los niños criados por cuidadores problemáticos desarrollan estilos de apego inseguro (ansioso, evitativo o desorganizado) y e...
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Complex PTSD, disorganized attachment, and BPD

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La version en español de este articulo This is a revised version of the essay I published on Substack on April 16th, 2022. In it, I describe how my emotionally and financially abusive narcissist parents Karen Sandman and Sandeep Mulgund (pictured below—my father is the man on the right with a beer gut) gave me complex PTSD , all the traits of borderline and histrionic personality disorder, and a disorganized attachment style.  Part 1: Attachment styles  The first way my parents fucked me over as a literal infant was by giving me a disorganized attachment style.  According to the Attachment Project , children raised by supportive and emotionally sensitive parents develop a trusting and stable bond with them and end up with a secure attachment style, meaning that they are psychologically well-adjusted and feel comfortable relying on other people. On the other hand, children raised by problematic caregivers develop insecure attachment styles (anxious, avoidant, or disorg...
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La disociación, la despersonalización, y la desrealización

The English version of this article  Tengo TEPT complejo junto con todos los rasgos del trastorno histriónico y límite de la personalidad debido a que mis padres narcisistas, Karen Sandman y Sandeep Mulgund, abusaron de mi durante 21 años antes de que me echaran de su casa en enero de 2022 y me fui a México, donde leí sobre los efectos a largo plazo del gaslighting y de repente me di cuenta de que ellos son el problema, no yo. Este artículo discute la disociación, la despersonalización y la desrealización como respuestas al trauma. Parte 1: La disociación Si me conoces en la vida real, posiblemente me conozcas como una especie de cadete espacial, siempre a punto de desconectarme y perderme la mitad de una conversación o no tener ninguna idea de lo que acabas de preguntarme. Bueno, en realidad no se trata de que no me importe escucharte; es la disociación , una respuesta al trauma complejo en la que te desconectas de tu entorno y entras en un reino diferente de conciencia d...
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The triple D's of trauma: Dissociation, depersonalization, and derealization

La versión en español de este articulo I have complex PTSD along with all the traits of histrionic and borderline personality disorder due to having been  abused by my narcissist parents , Karen Sandman and Sandeep Mulgund, for 21 years before being kicked out of their house in January 2022 and screwing off to Mexico, where I read about the long-term effects of gaslighting and suddenly realized that they're the problem, not me. This article is on dissociation, depersonalization, and derealization as trauma responses. Part 1: Dissociation If you know me in real life, you probably know me as something of a space cadet, always on the verge of zoning out and missing half of a conversation or having no idea what you just asked me. Well, it's not actually me being spacey or not caring about listening to you; it's dissociation , a response to complex trauma in which you become disconnected from your surroundings and enter into a different realm of consciousness where you'...
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